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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23322145">I'll Teach You How</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthelittleprettythings/pseuds/allthelittleprettythings'>allthelittleprettythings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Mary Ships It, Mutual Pining, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, castiel is better at feelings than dean but also bad at the</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:02:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23322145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthelittleprettythings/pseuds/allthelittleprettythings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the summer of 1994 when 15-year-old Dean first sees the moving van. It's about ten seconds later when he meets Castiel. What at first seemed like it might be the worst summer yet is only the start of a friendship turned romance turned profound bond.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. New Kid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean sighed for at least the thirtieth time that morning. These summer days seemed to just drag and drag. The summers of the past had been different. His best friend Benny was in Lawrence, and they would ride their bikes, toss around a football, do anything. Anything was fun with Benny. But, of course, Benny just had to move to New Orleans. What he wouldn’t give for a fun summer day.<br/>
He was brought back to reality by something soft landing on his chest. A load of his laundry greeted him when he opened his eyes. He looked over to see his mother, holding an empty white laundry basket upside down. “If you’re going to be a homebody,” she said, “you’re going to help with the chores.” Dean let out sigh number thirty one. “Fine, I’ll go away.” He moved to shove the laundry off his chest to sit up on the couch. “Not so fast,” his mother warned. “You can leave when you fold and put away this laundry.”<br/>
“Seriously?” he groaned. “Mom, I’m fifteen. I think it should be illegal for fifteen year olds to have to fold laundry.” His mom laughed. She had a pretty laugh, Dean thought, and even though she was still young, she had smile lines and crow’s feet forming from all her laughter. “I think it should be illegal for you to be such a little shit,” she replied, plopping the basket down on the floor at the foot of the couch. “Home by 6 for dinner,” she called over her shoulder as she left the living room.<br/>
Soon, the laundry was put away, or at least in a stack on his closet floor. So Dean hopped on his bike and started to ride around town. He didn’t really have any sort of destination in mind, usually Dean found adventure along the way. A few miles from his house, he saw a big yellow moving van. Either someone was lucky enough to be getting out of Lawrence, or some poor soul had no idea how boring it was going to be. Looking back to the road, he squeezed the brakes on the handlebars of his bike so hard he almost crashed. In the road stood an orange cat, just staring at Dean. He stopped just in time to avoid running it over, but it just stared. Dean stared right back. “What’s your problem?” No response. “Asshole,” he grumbled.<br/>
“Sorry!” called out a voice. “He’s not supposed to get outside, but I guess with all the chaos and the door being open…” The voice belonged to a boy around Dean’s age, with a mess of dark hair and thick-rimmed glasses. The boy scooped the cat up into his arms, and the cat immediately started to snuggle into his arms and lick his hand. “Hi, I’m Castiel,” the boy said, looking up from the cat to Dean.<br/>
“You have a weird name,” Dean replied, “I’m Dean.” “Yeah, my name comes from the-”<br/>
“Cassie!” a younger girl with red hair yelled as she skipped over to the two boys. “Don’t call me that, Anna!” Castiel protested with a slight blush. “Mom says you have to come in and start unpacking your room.” “Okay, I was just getting Tony.” The girl, Anna, looked up at Dean and stuck out her hand for a handshake. Dean smiled a little and obliged. She shook his hand loosely. “Anna Novak,”  she said in a deeper voice. “I’m Dean,” he answered, “nice to meet you.”<br/>
“Anna,” Castiel interjected, “tell Mom I’ll be back in a bit.” Anna skipped back over to the grey two story house, disappearing through the front door. Castiel looked flustered as he looked back at Dean. “Sorry about her, she’s only twelve.” Dean laughed softly. “My baby brother is eleven, so trust me, I get it.”<br/>
Castiel looked back to the house and let out a tired sigh. “Well. I guess I might see you around,” he said. Dean nodded, watching as Castiel walked away. “Hey, wait!” Dean called. Castiel stopped and turned back to him. “Um, do you want to go to the pool later? I’m sure you’re tired from all that stuff you’ve been carrying.” Castiel smiled softly. “My parents would never let me go to a public pool,” he replied. “Who said anything about asking your parents?” Dean asked with a lifted eyebrow.<br/>
Castiel stood there, motionless. “Uh, well, I guess… What do I tell them?” Dean shrugged. “You look smart. I’m sure you’ll think of something. You got a bike?” Castiel shook his head. “Hm. That’s fine. I’ll be back around 12:30.” “Okay then. I’ll see you soon, Dean.”<br/>
It was 12:25 when Dean found himself back at the Novak house. But Castiel didn’t come outside until 12:30 exactly. He had a small backpack, and it looked absolutely stuffed. Dean laughed a little to himself. “Step on up,” Dean said. “Step up where?” Castiel asked, looking concerned. “See those little bars sticking out from the sides on the back wheel? That’s where you stand, and you hold onto my shoulders.”<br/>
“That doesn’t seem safe,” Castiel responded, his eyebrows scrunching up behind his glasses. “You’ll be fine,” Dean laughed, “my kid brother rides like that all the time.” Castiel seemed to analyze the situation for a moment before stepping onto the bars cautiously. He wavered slightly, gripping onto Dean’s shoulders. “Ready?” Dean asked over his shoulder. “I guess,” came the response.<br/>
The second the bike started to move, Castiel tightened his grip on Dean’s shoulders. It was less than a mile to the pool, so they didn’t ride for too long. “Oh my goodness,” Castiel breathed when they parked. “That was so fast!” He let out a laugh, the kind of laugh that someone laughs after their first time on a roller coaster. That nervous, breathy, but excited laugh. Dean couldn’t help but smile at that.<br/>
Castiel got off first, Dean following and locking the bike to the bike rack. Dean led him through the locker room to the showers. He pulled off his shirt and took a quick rinse. Thankfully, this pool let people wear their swimsuits in the shower. Castiel was quick to follow, setting his glasses carefully on the bench next to his backpack. They stepped out of the locker room into the sun. They found a chair to leave their stuff at, Castiel opening his bag and digging through it. He pulled out a bottle of the spray on sunscreen, spraying his arms, chest, legs, and neck. “Could you spray my back?” Castiel asked, holding the bottle out to Dean. “I’ll get yours.”<br/>
Dean shook his head, taking the bottle. “I don’t wear sunscreen. I would if it prevented these damn freckles.” He sprayed Castiel’s back. “I think your freckles are nice,” Castiel said, turning around when Dean was done. Without the glasses on, Castiel’s eyes looked ten times bigger. Dean didn’t know if he’d ever seen a blue that bright before. They were a shocking sort of electric blue, even clearer than the pool water on this sunny day.<br/>
Castiel sat down in the chair next to his bag. “Castiel, what are you doing?” “Sitting.” “Why?” “I don’t know.” “Let’s get in the pool!” “Oh, I, uh…” “You can swim, right?” “No.” “Then I’ll teach you.” “Really?” “Yeah! Taught my brother and my friend Benny, I can teach you too.”<br/>
Castiel seemed to light up from the inside. “Okay!”<br/>
They swam and played and laughed for hours, until one of the lifeguards blew her whistle. “It is now 5:00, the pool is closed. Thank you for your patronage.” She sounded less than grateful for their patronage. The boys climbed out of the pool, Cas tossing Dean a towel from his backpack.<br/>
Dean ran it over his hair a few times before draping it over his shoulders. Castiel tied it around his waist. They went back out to Dean’s bike. “Can I show you something?” Dean asked. “Maybe,” Castiel replied. I guess it depends what it is.” “It’s just a really cool place that I found a few years ago. You have to promise to never tell anyone about it.” Castiel nodded, climbing back onto the bike. And they were off.<br/>
Dean turned off the street and started to bike down a dirt path surrounded by trees. It wasn’t long before he stopped at an old cottage, obviously abandoned. Castiel got off the bike with a huge grin. “Woah, this place is awesome!” Dean leaned the bike against the wall and led Castiel up onto the porch.<br/>
Dean cracked his knuckles, turning the old dull doorknob. He had to use his shoulder to open the door, a grunt following as he shoved his way into the small one room cottage. There wasn’t much left as far as furniture went, just an ancient iron stove, two steel chairs, and a couch that seemed to be barely held together. The floral wallpaper was peeling away from the wall.<br/>
Castiel looked around, tracing his fingers over the stove. “Dean, this place is amazing! How did you find it?”<br/>
Dean shrugged. “I’ve lived in this town my whole life. I like to explore.” Castiel turned to him and smiled. “You’re a really good explorer.” He took off his backpack and unzipped it, digging through it once more. “Are you thirsty?” he asked, looking back up at Dean.<br/>
Dean dropped into one of the two chairs. “Maybe, whaddya got?” “Just water.” “Eh, sure.” He held out his hand to catch the bottle, Castiel tossing it uncertainly. Dean plucked it out of the air and unscrewed it. He took a slow sip. “You tried to tell me earlier where your name comes from?”<br/>
Castiel nodded. “The Bible. My sister and brothers and I are all named after angels.” Dean quirked an eyebrow as Castiel took the seat next to him. “You got brothers?” he asked. Castiel nodded. “Yeah. Gabe left the second he turned eighteen. None of us have heard from him since. My parents just act like he never existed. All the pictures we have… it’s just me and Anna.”<br/>
Dean noticed the missing brother. But he didn’t pry. He knew that look. Castiel just wasn’t ready to tell Dean about his other brother or brothers. And that was fine. Dean felt lucky to have gotten him to open up as much as he had.<br/>
“Your parents seem tough,” Dean said softly. Castiel nodded. “Yeah, they’re good people. They’re just… sheep.” Dean furrowed his eyebrows. “How do you mean? “They blindly follow a religion, with no proof, no evidence. Their beliefs aren’t backed up by anything!”<br/>
Dean chuckled softly. “An atheist angel, huh?” Castiel glared at him. “I’m not an angel, I just have a stupid name.” Dean put his hands up and laughed. “Sorry!” He glanced at his watch. “Oh, shit, I gotta be home in fifteen for dinner.”<br/>
The boys got to their feet, heading towards the door. “Can I call you Cas?” Dean asked. “Cas?” “Yeah, Cas.” Castiel was quiet for a moment. The red hot anger from moments before was gone, replaced with a solemn sort of quiet. “I guess so.” He picked up his backpack and they left the cottage.<br/>
Dean and Cas rode off on the bike, the sun just starting to set on the first day of a beautiful friendship.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading the first chapter! This is my first fic ever (quarantine really do be like that) and I update it every couple of days. I would greatly appreciate comments and kudos!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Meeting Mary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean stared at his watch, smiling to himself as he heard Cas’ front door open the moment it turned noon. “Ya know, if I say noon but I’m here at 11:55, you’re allowed to come outside,” Dean said with a laugh. Cas rolled his eyes and got on the bike, backpack stuffed like always. “Just drive, dude.”<br/>The cottage was waiting for them, like always. Cas dropped into his chair and pulled out the comic books Dean had let him borrow. Cas started talking about the books, which ones were his favorite, which ones he needed sequels to, the works. But try as he might, Dean couldn’t quite listen. He found himself analyzing every little thing about Cas. <br/>It happened often, Dean would space out just looking at Cas. Well, not like looking, but, you know. Just the way his hair was always going crazy, or how his glasses made his eyes look half their size, or how his teeth were super white. Anything. It felt like Dean would never get tired of noticing the little things. And not just about his appearance. Cas was awkward as hell, but he didn’t seem to care, so that kind of counteracted the awkwardness. Cas was detail oriented, always asking questions Dean wouldn’t think of in a million years. Cas was smart as hell and a little bit shy. Cas was unlike anyone Dean had ever met.<br/>“Hello? Earth to Dean?”<br/>“Huh? Oh, sorry, just… thinking.”<br/>“Don’t hurt yourself,” Cas snorted. <br/>Dean punched him in the arm.<br/>“Did you catch anything I said?” Cas asked.<br/>“Nope.”<br/>Cas let out an exaggerated sigh. “Come on, Winchester, get it together. I asked if you wanted to go swimming in the creek.”<br/>Dean shrugged. “Sure.” Dean had taught Cas to swim just over a week ago, and it seemed like the kid was damn near sprouting gills with how often he wanted to go swimming. Dean didn’t mind the swimming, of course, and it was always fun with Cas.<br/>“Race ya!” Cas’ chair scraped as he shot to his feet. “Son of a bitch!” By the time Dean was on his feet, Cas was halfway out the door. The creek wasn’t far, but you couldn’t see it from the cottage. Dean caught up quickly and passed him. Cas was the eventual winner though, Dean’s legs getting heavy and slow about halfway there.<br/>Cas’ shirt landed haphazardly on a tree branch and he leapt into the water, tucking his legs up to his chest. Dean followed him in, diving headfirst.<br/>The second Dean’s head broke the water, Cas launched a splash at his face. “Aw, come on man, that’s not fair!” Dean whined, splashing back at him. And the war was off, the two boys splashing at one another so quickly they could hardly hear. Dean got an idea.<br/>He disappeared under the water and opened his eyes. Through the murky water, he could see Cas’ legs. He swam over, grabbed his ankle, and pulled. He surfaced, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.<br/>He stopped laughing when Cas came back up. The look of panic on his face as he coughed and thrashed was unlike anything he’d ever seen. “Cas?!” Dean wrapped Cas’ arm around his shoulders and swam him over to the creekbank, walking up the wall of mud and sitting Cas down in the grass.<br/>Cas was still coughing, but it was dying down. Guilt swept in, grabbing Dean’s shoulders and digging cold, sharp fingertips into his skin. Dean used one hand to help Cas sit up, and the other to push his wet hair out of his face. Dean didn’t even realize he was talking until Cas’ hand covered his mouth as the coughing stopped.<br/>“Stop saying you’re sorry, I’m fine,” Cas said. His voice was a little raspy and breathy, and Dean could feel his heartbeat still racing.<br/>“I… I’m sorry.”<br/>“What did I just say?”<br/>“Right. Sorry.”<br/>Cas glared at him. “Don’t be sorry, just stop being an asshole.”<br/>Dean’s eyes went wide and he cracked a smile. “So you can curse.”<br/>Cas’ expression mirrored his. “Shut up.”<br/>Cas seemed to feel better, and Dean was relieved. He had a difficult time shaking that feeling he’d gotten when he saw Cas’ face across the creek.<br/>Comic books and heroes helped them pass the time, and before they knew it, 5:00 was approaching. Dean’s mom had invited Cas to come for dinner, and she was adamant that they showed up on time. So they grabbed the bag, hopped on the bike, and rode back to Dean’s house.<br/>They got there a few minutes early. “Hello, boys!” Mary called from the kitchen. “Dean, set the table. And don’t let Cas lift a finger!” Dean let out a quiet sigh. “I heard that,” came her voice. So Dean went to set the table. Cas stood there awkwardly at first, but started to look at the pictures that were hung in the hallway outside the dining room.<br/>Table set, Dean joined Cas in the hallway. “Is that your father?” Cas asked softly, looking at the happy family in one of the photos. Dean was quiet, but he nodded. “Is he…” Cas trailed off, turning to look at Dean. Dean smiled softly. “No, he’s not dead. He’s in a little country called Bosnia protecting civilians from war,” he explained. Cas nodded in understanding. “A soldier.” Dean’s smile widened. “A hero. But don’t talk about him in front of Mom. She misses him a lot.”<br/>“Dinner’s ready!” The boys rushed in, all taking a seat.<br/>“It looks delicious, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas said. Dean couldn’t help but smile, as that was somehow exactly what he thought Cas would say. “Thank you, Cas,” his mother said with a smile. “But please. Call me Mary.”<br/>They began to eat. “So, Cas, you just moved in down the street?” “Yes ma’am, about a week ago.” “How did you meet Dean?” “He almost ran over my cat with his bike.”<br/>Dean stared at him and they had a silent conversation. ”Dude, what the hell?” “I dunno, she asked!” “Well don’t get me in trouble, asshat!” “Okay sorry!”<br/>When he looked back at his mother, she had a smile and a little glint in her eye that he couldn’t quite figure out. She didn’t acknowledge the cat or the wordless bickering. “Where are you going to school in August?” she asked. “Cavalry,” Castiel answered. “Wait, what? You’re not going to Lawrence High?” Dean asked, surprised. “Uh, no. Cavalry.” “Guess it makes sense with your parents being all religious and shit,” Dean muttered.<br/>Now it was Mary’s turn to speak with no words. The death glare she shot him for cursing at the dinner table could burn through steel.<br/>Mary and Cas chatted a little more, Sam even piping in after a while. Dean almost envied how likeable Cas was. He could carry a conversation with just about anybody, he was sweet in a genuine way, and he really listened.<br/>Soon their plates were empty, their stomachs were full, and there was laughter in the air. Dean was back in the conversation, though he mostly watched Cas. Mary got to her feet with a smile. “Sammy, sweetie, can you help me with the dishes? Dean, go pick out a movie. And Cas. You are cordially invited to our movie night. That being said, start some popcorn in the microwave.” “What happened to Cas not lifting a finger?” Dean asked. “That was when he was a guest. Cas, honey, you’re welcome here anytime.”<br/>Cas seemed to light up at that, going into the kitchen to get the popcorn ready. Mary showed him where everything was. Dean watched them with a smile. He loved how easily Cas fit into their little family. Still smiling to himself, Dean went into the living room and searched the drawers for a good movie they’d all enjoy. The DVD case for Raiders of the Lost Ark looked back at him. Cas had just finished the comic books for that movie. It was perfect. <br/>After he set it up, he helped Cas finish up the popcorn bowl. Once the fourth bag was in, they brought it into the living room together. The four of them squeezed onto the couch, Mary on one end next to Sam, and Cas on the other end next to Dean. Dean pressed play on the remote and Cas gasped. “They made it a movie?” he asked incredulously. Dean laughed a little. “Yeah, yeah they did.” <br/>Despite Cas’ excitement, by the time the credits rolled, Dean was the only one still awake. Sam had fallen asleep cuddled up to Mary’s side, and Cas’ head had spent the last ten to fifteen minutes of the movie on Dean’s shoulder. <br/>Dean nudged him awake, Cas making a soft and sleepy sound as he opened his eyes. He took a sharp breath in through his nose, stretching and letting out a yawn. “What time is it?” Cas mumbled. “It’s only 9:02, and you all knocked out,” Dean said with a chuckle. Cas shot up off the couch. “9:00 is my curfew!” he exclaimed, panic in his voice. Dean couldn’t tell if it was the volume or maternal instinct, but Mary woke up. “You need a ride home, hon?” she asked Cas, already on her feet and searching for her keys.<br/>Dean rode in the backseat with Cas, the ride over much shorter by car. It was only 9:10 when they got there, but Cas looked really nervous. “I’m gonna be grounded forever,” he whined as the car pulled to a stop in front of his house. Mary reached into her purse and pulled out a pen and a little drug store receipt. “If you’re not allowed to hang out, just shoot a call over,” she said, handing him the receipt with their phone number scrawled on the back.<br/>Cas took the paper and stuck it in his front pocket. “Thank you for everything Mrs. Winchester,” he said as he stepped out of the car. “Goodnight, Dean.” “Night, Cas.”<br/>“I hope he doesn’t get in trouble, he’s such a sweet boy,” Mary said, her voice dripping with sympathy. “I’m glad you met him. Seems like he might make you a little sweeter.” “I’m plenty sweet,” Dean replied, climbing into the front seat. Mary rolled her eyes and drove them home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Movie Mondays at the Winchester house with Cas became a weekly sleepover event. Each week, Dean would get a sleeping bag down from the attic (though after a few weeks it moved to the front hall closet) and set it up in his room. After whatever movie it was that they watched, the boys would retreat to Dean’s room and stay up late. They’d read comics, play games on Dean’s Super Nintendo, or watch TV. The best nights, though, were when they would just talk.<br/>
“I can’t believe you have to go to that dumb school. I bet they all have sticks up their asses.”<br/>
The boys sat at the foot of Dean’s bed, cross-legged, comics scattered between them.<br/>
Cas smiled and shook his head. “It’s not so bad. I shadowed there for a few days at the end of last year. A bunch of the students are atheists too. Mass is gonna suck so much though.”<br/>
“Do you have to wear a uniform?” Dean asked.<br/>
Cas frowned. “Yes. It just came in the mail a few days ago. It’s awful.”<br/>
“What’s it look like?”<br/>
“Ugly.”<br/>
“Show me.”<br/>
“I don’t have it!”<br/>
“Draw it,” Dean answered pointedly. He hopped off the bed and went over to his desk, rifling through a drawer. He tossed Cas a box of colored pencils and a notebook, going back to the bed.<br/>
Cas made a face of confusion but picked up the pencils, thinking a moment before starting to draw. “I’ll still live right down the street,” Cas said, still focused on the paper in his lap.<br/>
“Yeah, I know, but it won’t be the same,” Dean answered. “Why not?” Cas asked.<br/>
“Well, for starters, we won’t have the day to hang out.”<br/>
“We have movie nights.”<br/>
“That’s only once a week!”<br/>
“We’ll hang out every day after school, dumbass.”<br/>
“I have football til 5.”<br/>
“Oh. Well then we’ll hang out every day at 5, dumbass.”<br/>
“That’s still like not even half as much time as we got to hang out in the summer. And we’ll have homework and stuff. Your parents will probably only let you have sleepovers on Friday and Saturday nights! Well, not Saturdays, you’d have church in the morning still. What if you make a new best friend? And he lives closer and he’s cooler and rich and-” “Dean.”<br/>
Dean looked up at Cas.<br/>
The notebook landed in Dean’s lap with a thud. The first thing to come to Dean’s mind was that Cas was an amazing artist. He’d never seen anyone make such a good drawing so quickly, and while carrying on a conversation. There on the paper stood a little cartoon Cas. He didn’t have on glasses, and his hair was styled neatly. He was wearing khakis and a navy blue blazer with an ugly-as-hell crest on his chest. Buttoned up neatly under the blazer and tucked into the khakis was a white collared shirt. That would’ve been maybe fine if it wasn’t for the tie. It was thick, striped, and baby blue.<br/>
“This uniform is awful,” Dean said softly.<br/>
“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m the guy wearing it. I’m not gonna change up on you just because I have to go to this stupid school. You’re my best friend, Dean. No ugly jacket and awful tie is gonna change that.”<br/>
“It would look better if they had a skinny tie, no stripes, and darker.”<br/>
“Dean.”<br/>
Cas sounded tired. Dean looked at him. “I know you heard me,” Cas said with a soft smile.<br/>
“I know. I heard ya. I just have a rule against chick flick moments.”<br/>
“What the hell is a chick flick?”<br/>
“You know, like one of those stupid touchy-feely romance movies that girls like to make you watch on a date,” Dean said. It was quiet. Cas’ ears went red and Dean immediately realized it.<br/>
“No way,” Dean breathed.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“You’ve never been on a date?”<br/>
Even though Cas’ face was hidden, Dean could tell he got more red. “No, I have not.”<br/>
“But you’re so- I mean come on, dude, you’ve gotta have girls crawling all over you,” Dean replied, shocked. Cas shrugged. “I’ve never really liked a girl that way, I don’t know,” Cas said, seeming embarrassed.<br/>
Castiel Novak had always seemed so sure of himself, confident in his uniqueness. Seeing him look so embarrassed and vulnerable made Dean want to pull him into a hug, just so he knew he was loved.<br/>
“Any cute girls at your school?” Dean asked.<br/>
“Well, I guess. This girl April seemed to like me a lot…” Cas mumbled.<br/>
“Ask her on a date, dude!”<br/>
Cas made an uncertain face. “Yeah?”<br/>
“Definitely!” Dean gave him a clap on the shoulder, smiling. “When you go to school next week, just ask if she wants to hang out. She’ll be thrilled, Cas, thrilled.”<br/>
“Okay, and then what? Say she says yes. Then what do I do?”<br/>
“Well, depends. If she wants, take her out to eat. Somewhere you can afford. Then, depending on how it’s going, you go back to somebody’s place. Hers if you can, so she feels more comfortable. She’ll ask if you want to watch a movie. You say sure. She asks which one, you say whichever movie she wants. And then- dude, are you actually writing this down? That’s funny. Anyway, then you only have to sorta pay attention to the movie. The movie plays and you scoot closer and closer and maybe put a hand on her thigh, then when the two leads get together, you go for it.”<br/>
“Go for what?”<br/>
“The kiss.”<br/>
“The kiss?! What kiss?”<br/>
“You know, just a kiss.”<br/>
“Well what if I don’t want her to be my girlfriend?”<br/>
“Relax, it’s a kiss, not a wedding ring. You don’t even have to use tongue.”<br/>
“Tongue?!”<br/>
As endearing as Cas’ innocence could be at times, this he couldn’t believe.<br/>
“You have kissed a girl, right?”<br/>
“No.”<br/>
“Jesus Christ, Cas!”<br/>
“Well, what do I do if I’m a bad kisser? I’ve never kissed anyone before, so I won’t even know, and then she’ll know, and then she won’t like me anymore, and then-” Dean grabbed his shoulder. “Cas, take a breath, dude.”<br/>
Cas started to breathe slowly, his chest moving with each deep breath.<br/>
“Looks like you’ve got two choices here. You can just go for it, it’ll probably be fine. Or if you’re nervous, you could, you know, practice.”<br/>
“Practice? On who? I don’t know any girls that would be willing to just, just kiss some guy for practice.”<br/>
“Yeah, you’re right.” Dean chewed at his lower lip. “I mean, don’t take this in a weird way or anything, but I’ve got a lot of, uh, experience. I could sort of… teach you.”<br/>
“Teach me?”<br/>
“Yeah, like I taught you how to swim.”<br/>
It was quiet for a moment. Dean worried he’d overstepped some kind of boundary. He was going to say something but Cas beat him to it. “Okay.”<br/>
“Okay,” Dean repeated. “We’ll take it nice and slow, okay? And, you know, we’ll stop if it gets too weird. And we won’t let it make things weird between us. Deal?” He barely registered Cas saying ‘deal’ back.<br/>
Dean swallowed his suddenly racing heartbeat. He was just helping Cas practice. The only reason he felt so different going in was because Cas was a guy, and Dean didn’t usually kiss guys. In fact, he never had. Maybe this was a bad idea. He snapped back to reality, and saw Cas looking at him curiously. Come on, Dean, it’s just Cas. Dean saw that his hand was still on Cas’ shoulder. He changed the angle of his hand and leaned forward, closing his eyes.<br/>
Their lips met. Cas’ lips were soft and tasted like salt and popcorn butter. At first, they didn’t move. But as they slowly got used to this new feeling, their lips started to move together and they were kissing. Like really kissing. Dean felt Cas’ shoulders lose their tension under his hand and he, too, relaxed. Dean’s hand moved to the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him closer. Cas put a cautious hand on Dean’s waist.<br/>
Cas’ glasses pressed up against the tip of Dean’s nose, bringing him back into the reality of it all. Dean pulled away quickly, not sure what he should do with his hands.<br/>
Cas’ eyes were wide, his glasses crooked. Dean reached out and adjusted his glasses, licking his lips as he did. Those blue eyes flicked down to Dean’s mouth and he pressed his lips together self-consciously.<br/>
Dean cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, April will be happy with that.”<br/>
Cas looked down. “Right. April.”<br/>
Dean raked his fingers through his hair, looking back at Cas’ drawing. “You know, you surprise me every day.”<br/>
“What do you mean?”<br/>
“I, uh, I don’t know, honestly. Night Cas.”<br/>
Cas climbed off the bed and slipped into the sleeping bag. “Goodnight Dean.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Homecoming Game</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Football season made it hard to see Cas. Even when Dean didn’t have practice, he was spending time with his team for “bonding” or whatever. Coach Singer made it clear that he had to be there if he wanted a shot at captain his senior year. “A team does more than play together,” he would say. The guys were fine, Dean thought. He didn’t dislike any of them, but he wasn’t really close with them. They got along just fine. But compared to the friendship he’d built with Cas, they were practically strangers.<br/>    The homecoming game seemed to come out of nowhere. The Lawrence Lions would be facing off against the Cavalry Cougars. Soon, the stadium was packed with red and blue. The Lawrence student section was absolutely full. In front of the bleachers, the cheer team was rallying the crowd, led by captain Lisa Braeden, Dean’s date to the dance the next night. She was plenty nice, not to mention incredibly attractive. <br/>    The current team captain, a senior named Gordon, was leading the team in a pep talk. If Dean was being honest, they didn’t need much of a pep talk to beat Cavalry. Every year, like clockwork, Lawrence handed Cavalry their rich Catholic asses on a silver platter.<br/>    Within minutes, the team was running out onto the field, met by loud cheers and an amp to the music. Dean spotted Sammy and his mom almost immediately, Mary waving around a big #67 sign so crazily that her arms might fall off. He glanced briefly at the visitors' bleachers, hoping to see Cas in the field of blue. He didn’t have any luck, taking position.<br/>    Dean hunched over, his gloved knuckles brushing the turf. He cleared his throat and called to the center receiver. “Set, hike!” Dean caught the ball and ran a few paces back. He turned over his shoulder, sending it flying to the wide receiver. Cavalry made the tackle, but not before Garth had gained them 35 yards. Dean couldn’t help but wince a bit. Garth could catch anything, and ran faster than anyone he’d ever met, but the boy was a damn noodle. Garth popped right back up though, and the teams took their positions.<br/>    By halftime, the Lions had a huge lead, the scoreboard blaring a bright 27-0. The teams took to the locker rooms as the cheer and dance teams overtook the field. Dean pulled off his helmet and rifled through his bag, pulling out his homecoming court sash. He wouldn’t be king, as he wasn’t a senior, but he could be a prince. Like that meant anything. He pulled it on over his jersey and headed back outside.<br/>    He was met by a cool breeze and bright blue eyes. “Hello, Dean,” Cas said. He was wearing a blue Cavalry jersey, standing with a pretty girl with long ginger hair, tied half-up in standard good girl fashion. Dean smiled brightly. “Hey Cas! This April?” Cas nodded, Dean offering her a smile. “Nice to meet ya, I’m Dean, Cas’ neighbor.”<br/>    Cas rolled his eyes and April giggled behind her hand. “He’s my best friend,” Cas said, pointing a playful glare at Dean. “Anyway, just wanted to see how you’re doing. I have no idea how football works, but you seem like you’re doing a great job,” Cas continued, running a hand through his hair. Dean laughed. “Thanks, Cas. I gotta run.” He gave him a firm pat on the shoulder before jogging over to where the rest of the court was lined up.<br/>    The student council president, Jo Harvelle, walked to the center of the field with a microphone. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore the official homecoming game t-shirt. “Hey everyone! Thank you so much for coming out to the 1994 homecoming game!” The red half of the stadium erupted into cheers.<br/>    “Alright, a few quick announcements and then we’ll get to the court nominees and winners. First of all, shirts are being sold next to the concession stand for $10. Also, after the fourth quarter starts, popcorn is only 50¢ a bag. And finally, tickets for the dance are on sale! Go to the shirt stand and ask for a ticket. You have to have a Lawrence High ID to buy one, but your guest can go to any school, so long as they are below the age of 21. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, here is your 1994 homecoming court!”<br/>    Dean walked out with the rest of the boys nominated, meeting his partner in the middle of the field. Charlie was probably his best friend at Lawrence. He offered her his arm and they walked to the front of the field. “Have I told you how grateful I am that they put me with you for this shit?” Dean asked under his breath, smiling at the crowd. “Tell me about it,” she replied through her grin.<br/>    Dean stood between Charlie and the other sophomore girl nominee, Gwen Campbell. Gwen looked over to Charlie with the fakest of smiles. “Good luck,” she practically hissed at her. When Gwen faced the front again, Dean heard Charlie start to laugh to herself. He elbowed her in the side. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Just funny that she thinks I give a shit.”<br/>    Dean snorted and shook his head. <br/>    He ended up winning the sophomore prince position, Jo handing him a plastic flower. He honestly didn’t care much, but joined Gwen in the front for a picture. Dean went back to his spot and waited for the ceremony to end. He did cheer when Lisa won homecoming queen, though. She was his date to the dance, it just felt like the thing to do.<br/>    By the end of the game, Dean was exhausted. Cavalry had their biggest comeback in years, the game ending at 57-12.<br/>    When the crowd flooded the field, Mary pulled him into a hug. “Oh, Dean, you were great! And congratulations on the, uh, prince thing. What does that mean exactly?” “I have no idea.” “Cool, me neither. Did you see Cas is here?” Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, he introduced me to his girlfriend.” <br/>    Mary gasped. “He has a girlfriend?! Oh my gosh I... I have to meet her!”<br/>    Behind him, a familiar voice caught his attention. “Dude, you smell like ass.”<br/>    Dean turned around with a grin. “Thanks, Cas. Wanna hug? You’ll smell like ass too.”<br/>    Cas held his hands out in front of him. “Don’t even think about it, Winchester.”<br/>    Dean laughed. “Hell of a game, huh?” Cas shrugged. “I dunno. Again, I don’t know anything about football. Well, except that Cavalry is terrible at it.”<br/>    “Yeah, well-”<br/>    “Hey Dean!” Lisa walked over in her uniform, her brunette hair pulled back with a sparkling red bow and topped with the silver homecoming queen crown. “Wanna get some dinner? The girls were going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, but I was thinking we could go somewhere, just the two of us.”<br/>    “That could be fun,” Dean replied. “Cas, this is Lisa, my date for homecoming. Lise, this is Cas, my best friend. He goes to Cavalry.” Cas smiled politely. “It’s nice to meet you. Dean, I gotta go, April’s waiting for me. I’ll see you later.” “Alright, bye Cas.”<br/>    Lisa drove a shiny red convertible, taking him to a diner with the top down and music blaring.<br/>    When they sat down, Lisa was eyeing him and Dean was eyeing her right back. He ordered fries and a chocolate shake, Lisa getting a salad and water. They made small talk, flirting and laughing.<br/>    Dean didn’t pay mind to the ding of the door opening until the new customers walked by his and Lisa’s booth. Cas and April were on their way to the other end of the restaurant. “Cas? What the hell are you doing here?”<br/>    Cas turned around, surprised to see Dean. “I’m eating dinner, what else would I be doing here?” Dean rolled his eyes and grinned. He was surprised to hear Lisa speak up. “Why don’t you two join us, we got plenty of room!” She slid her food across the table and took the seat next to Dean, smiling.<br/>    Cas and April looked at each other for a moment before agreeing. Cas sat across from Dean with a soft smile. “So, what’s up?” Cas asked. “I’m eating dinner, what else would I be doing here?” Dean echoed smugly. Cas rolled his eyes and laughed. “I cannot stand you.” “Good thing you’re sitting.” “Shut up!”<br/>    Cas turned to Lisa with a sweet smile. “Lisa, right?” She nodded. “Nice to see you again. This is April, my girlfriend.” Lisa smiled at April. “Hi April! You two are so cute, how long have you been together?” “Almost two months,” April answered, taking Cas’ hand. “Awwww!” Lisa squealed. <br/>    Dean really liked Lisa. She wasn’t what he’d expected. The senior cheer captain had a reputation in every movie or show he’d seen of being stuck-up at best. Lisa wasn’t like that. Sure, she kept her guard up and held her own, but she was kind and genuine. Dean could tell that she was actually happy for Cas and April, two complete strangers.<br/>    Cas was pretty quiet for the rest of the night. He’d pipe in every now and then, but Dean could read him like a book. He was lost somewhere in that head of his, thinking about something that seemed to be bothering him. Dean nudged his leg with his foot. “Hey, man, you alright?” “Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”<br/>    Dean glanced over to the girls, who were talking about something excitedly. Lisa was making nig hand gestures, and April was smiling and laughing.<br/>    He looked back at Cas, who had started to chew on his lower lip, pushing his fries around on his plate. He seemed decidedly not fine, but Dean didn’t press. Not here.<br/>    A tap on his shoulder brought him back. Dean hadn’t even realized he’d been staring. “Sorry, what?” he asked, looking over at Lisa. “I asked if you were ready to go,” she asked with a smile. Something had changed in her smile, but he couldn’t figure out what. Maybe she was just tired. “Oh, yeah, right. Uh, have we paid?” “April paid for all of us, because she’s the coolest,” Lisa replied. “You look tired,” she continued.<br/>    Dean looked over at Cas, who was having his own sidebar with April. His eyes lingered worryingly on Cas, who looked, well, off. He couldn’t put a finger on any of it. “Oh, uh, that’s awesome.” He looked back to Lisa. “We can go whenever you’re ready.”<br/>    Lisa picked up her purse. “I had fun, guys. It was really nice to meet you. April, next time I see you, you have to bring me pictures of that dress! It sounds gorgeous.” Dean scooted out of the booth. “Yeah, it was great meeting you April. I’ll see you on Monday, Cas.”<br/>    With that, Lisa drove him home. She stopped in front of Dean’s house and smiled that same, altered smile. It almost looked like the smile he got when he mentioned his dad being at war, or the smiles at his grandma’s funeral. It looked like pity. Dean just couldn’t figure out why. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 5, okay?” Lisa asked. Dean nodded, getting out of the car to grab his bag and gear. He closed the back door of the car. “See you tomorrow, Lise,” he said, waving before going into his house.<br/>    The dance was fun, even more so when the punch got spiked. Dean danced and bantered with Lisa, and the weird way she’d been acting the night before seemed to vanish. His head hadn’t cleared up all the way by the time Lisa had him back in front of his house again. He leaned forward to kiss her, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.<br/>    “What’s wrong?” Dean asked, his words slurring slightly.<br/>    “Dean, you don’t love me.”<br/>    “Well, you’re not wrong, but who said anything about love?”<br/>    “Normally, I’d be right with you. But…” she trailed off. “You’re a wonderful guy. Fantastic, actually. You’re funny and sweet and you’re like really hot and-”<br/>    “So what’s the problem?”<br/>    Lisa was quiet for a moment, looking like she was carefully choosing her words. “I can’t do this in good conscience. You don’t have feelings for me and I can tell you have them for someone else. And that’s fine! Really, it is. That kind of connection just isn’t something I want to get between.”<br/>    “Lisa, I’m not trying to be rude, but what the fuck are you talking about?”<br/>    She looked at him with an expression reminiscent of Sam’s trademark bitchface.<br/>    “Look. I’ll give you time to process your feelings on your own. But in the meantime, I... I just can’t.”<br/>    “Uh, okay. Then I guess this is goodnight.”<br/>    “I guess so. Have a good night, Dean.”<br/>    “Night Lise.”<br/>    Dean walked up the driveway, just a little unsteady. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to understand the conversation he’d had with Lisa. Who did she think Dean had feelings for? As he drifted off to sleep, visions of a dance played in his head. Only this time, Cas was there, and they were dancing and laughing together. The last thing he remembered thinking about before he was out for good was that one kiss he’d given Cas.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hmmm, whoever could Lisa be talking about? Also sorry for how badly the game is written, I only went to football games to sing the anthem. And it’s about to get angsty, so hold on to your mf hat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Oh Brother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was December when Cas missed his first movie night. Cas was the most perfectly punctual person Dean had ever met. When Dean would say “Come over around 5:00,” Cas would knock on the front door the second the minute hand hit 12. So by 5:10, Dean was reasonably panicked. Mary was trying to calm him down, but starting to get a little worried herself.<br/>    Dean called the Novak house. It took awhile for it to be picked up, but Dean let out a relieved sigh when Anna spoke. “Novak residence, Anna speaking.”<br/>    Dean couldn’t help but smile. Anna was the only other member of Cas’ family that Dean had met, and she reminded him a lot of Sammy. “Hey, Anna Banana, is Cas home?”<br/>    “Yeah.”<br/>    “Is he okay?”<br/>    “Well, he isn’t sick or hurt or anything, he’s just upset I think.”<br/>    “Do you know why he’s upset?”<br/>    “Uh huh!”<br/>    “Would it be okay if you told me?”<br/>    “Yeah! Our brother is coming home!”<br/>    “Your brother Gabe?”<br/>    “No. Lucifer. He’s been in prison since I was a baby. And tomorrow I get to meet him!”<br/>    Dean was stunned silent. There was a quiet argument on Anna’s end.<br/>    “Mom says I have to go now, and that Cassie won’t be coming over tonight.”<br/>    Dean was still sitting in quiet shock. Prison. That explained Cas’ reluctance to talk about his other brother at the beginning of the summer pretty well. Shit. <br/>    “Uh, sure, okay. Have a good night, Anna, and tell Cas we miss him.”<br/>    “Okie dokie! Bye!”<br/>    “Bye.” Dean hung up the phone slowly, letting out a long breath.<br/>    Mary walked over to him. “Is he okay?”<br/>    Dean bit his lip. “His brother is coming home tomorrow. From prison.”<br/>    Mary put a hand to her chest, sucking in a sharp breath. “Oh.”<br/>    Dean made his way to the front door, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his jacket. “I’m gonna go see him.” “What?” “He’s not okay, mom, he needs me.” Mary pressed her lips together. “I understand. Be good, honey. Are you gonna stay the night?” “Maybe.” She nodded. “Okay. If you’re not home by 10, I’m taking that as a yes. But you better be home by 10 in the morning, or I’m gonna come find ya, and it won’t be fun for you.”<br/>    “Got it. Love you, mom.”<br/>    “I love you too, Dean. So much.” She hugged him, and Dean noticed for the first time that they were the same height. He squeezed her back for a moment before heading out the door. <br/>    It was the first time he’d biked to Cas’ in the dark. He leaned his bike against the side of the garage and walked around the back of the house. There were two rooms visible on the top floor in the back, and one had pink walls. So, Dean decided to take his chances with the other room, looking for a way up.<br/>    There was a thick tree with one long branch that extended towards what was hopefully Cas’ window. But the trunk was bare for the first ten feet, so he’d have to climb another tree to get onto that one. Dean took a deep breath and started climbing, trying to stay quiet.<br/>    Other than a few snaggy twigs and one really pissed off bird, Dean had no trouble getting up to the branch. He slowly crawled out on it, knowing that one wrong move could send him down nearly twenty feet to the ground. Keeping his weight steady he reached out and knocked on the window.<br/>    A split in the curtains appeared, bathing Dean’s face in yellow lamplight. Cas stood behind the window, eyes and face red. He opened the window a crack. “Dean?” he whispered, “what the hell are you doing here?”<br/>    Dean offered him a smile. “You missed movie night, so I thought I’d bring the fun to you!”<br/>    Cas visibly suppressed a smile and opted instead for a nice eye roll. He opened the window the rest of the way. “You know you’re insane, right? It’s like twenty degrees outside!” “I’m wearing a coat.” “Keep your voice down.”<br/>    Dean crawled in, not exactly gracefully, but definitely quietly. Thankfully, Cas’ bed was right under the window. “Nice place ya got here,” Dean remarked, looking around at the bare walls. “You still unpacking or something?”<br/>    “What do you mean?” Cas asked, his eyebrows all scrunched up. Cas made that face a lot, whenever he was confused, usually by something pretty normal. “Well, you don’t have any posters or decorations or… well, anything.”<br/>    Dean’s room was practically covered in posters for video games, movies, classic rock bands, and more. To compare it to Cas’ room was downright sad. <br/>    Cas simply shrugged. “I don’t have any posters.”<br/>    Dean shook his head with a little smile. “You’re strange, Novak.”<br/>    “Says the absolute lunatic who just crawled in my window in the middle of December.”<br/>“Touché.”<br/>    The boys went quiet for a minute, staring at the floor.<br/>    “So, um, I heard about your brother…” Dean said.<br/>    “How in the- Anna?”<br/>Dean nodded.<br/>“Figures,” Cas muttered, looking up at Dean. “Are you mad that I never told you about him?”<br/>“You kiddin’ me? ‘Course not. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready for me to know,” Dean replied, reaching behind him and closing the window to stop the cold from getting in.<br/>“Yeah. I was going to, I just…”<br/>“Look, Cas…” Dean started. “I’m not gonna say I get it, because I don’t, I really don’t, but you know you can tell me anything, right? I mean, you’re my best friend. Part of my job is to be here for you. Don’t get me wrong, you’re allowed to keep any secrets you want, but you don’t have to. You never have to.”<br/>Cas moved away from the bed and sat down in his desk chair, letting out a sigh. “You don’t know that,” he said quietly.<br/>“I do,” Dean argued, getting off the bed. “You can tell me absolutely anything and I’ll never judge you for it.”<br/>Cas was staring at his hands, and Dean was staring at his face. There was something inside Cas, something that was troubling him. Dean didn’t know what it was or even what it could be, but it was heavy. And he just wanted to reach out and help him carry that weight. He leaned against the desk and opened his mouth to speak, but then he heard the doorknob move and jam.<br/>“Castiel, is this door locked?” came a gruff male voice.<br/>Cas looked at Dean with wide eyes and Dean took the cue, army crawling under the bed.<br/>“Uh, no, sir, it must be stuck. It does that sometimes. You just have to wiggle it a few times and it’ll come loose,” Cas called back. The doorknob jiggled as Dean tried to get the rest of his body under the bed. Cas adjusted the covers so Dean couldn’t be seen. The second Dean got his feet under, he heard Cas open the door.<br/>“You know, son, no amount of locked doors can stop the Lord from watching over you.” “I know, sir. It wasn’t-” “Don’t argue with me, Castiel. Gabriel used to argue, and look at him now. All alone, no family to guide him.” “I’m sorry, sir.”<br/>Dean had never heard Cas sound like this before. So submissive, so quiet, so… not Cas.<br/>“I know it’s going to be different when Lucifer comes home. We will all have to adjust. But he’s changed too, son. He’s reformed. He strayed from the path of God, and he reaped the consequences. He sought the light in the dark times and he found himself reunited with the Lord. Remember Isaiah 44:22?”<br/>“Yes, sir. ‘I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the mist-” “Morning mist.” “‘your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.’” “You see, Castiel? No one is beyond our Lord’s forgiveness, not even your brother. Now get to sleep, son. Lucifer will be home tomorrow, and we need to prepare the house for his return.” “Yes, sir.”<br/>The door closed and footsteps retreated down the hallway.<br/>Dean climbed out from beneath the bed, cracking his neck.<br/>“Well, your dad seems like a boatload of fun,” Dean mumbled, stretching his arms out. “He always so charming?”<br/>“Dean, you should leave.”<br/>“What?”<br/>“I don’t want you to get in trouble for being here. Does your mom even know you’re gone?” Cas asked.<br/>“Yeah, she knows I’m gone. She knows I’m here, helping you.”<br/>“What exactly are you helping me with?” Cas’ voice was cold and angry. “Huh? You barge in here in the middle of the night, you make so much noise my dad comes in, and you try to convince me to spill everything about my life and for what? So you can go home to your mom who actually gives a shit about you and your friends who know who you really are? So you can run around making out with homecoming queens and cheer captains? While I’m stuck here in this hellhole where it doesn’t matter what I do, I’ll never be the kid my parents want!”<br/>It was shocking how angry he could sound while whispering.<br/>“Cas, I don’t understand, I-”<br/>“No, you don’t understand. And you never will.”<br/>“Cas, please, I…”<br/>“Go, Dean. Please.”<br/>On that last word, Cas’ voice broke and a tear fell down his face.<br/>“Alright, I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Dean reopened the window, climbing out onto the tree branch. He watched as Cas closed the window and shut the curtains.<br/>“Damn, it really is cold out here,” Dean muttered, making his way down the trees.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Fluffy Tension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is significantly shorter than the rest of them so far, so just enjoy i guess</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nearly a week went by before Dean saw Cas again. He was doing his homework when he saw Cas walking on the sidewalk and staring up at his window. Dean opened it with a lopsided smile. “Hey, you gonna climb up or use the front door?”<br/>
“Just get out here, asshole.”<br/>
“Roger that.” Dean practically ran down the stairs, meeting Cas barefoot in short sleeves on his front porch.<br/>
“Aren’t you cold?” Cas asked, giving Dean a once over from inside his navy coat.<br/>
“Nah, I’m good. What’s up?”<br/>
Cas let out a tense sigh, a puff of air escaping his lips and dissolving into the sky. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for being a dick earlier. I was mad, but it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry for taking it out on you.”<br/>
Dean gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay. You wanna play Donkey Kong?”<br/>
Cas smiled back, and immediately it felt like nothing had ever gone wrong. Reset button. Back to the start. “Yeah, that’d be fun.”<br/>
“Come on in,” Dean said, pushing the door open. It was then that Dean noticed he was carrying that damn backpack, stuffed full of whatever.<br/>
They played for a few hours, and spent the rest of the evening talking. Dean was halfway reading a comic book and Cas was drawing something in a book Dean hadn’t seen before.<br/>
“Whatcha got there?” Dean asked, rolling over onto his stomach to look at Cas.<br/>
“Sketchbook. My mom bought it for me.”<br/>
“Cool. You got any cool drawings in there?” Dean asked, propping his head up in his hands.<br/>
“No,” Cas answered, looking down at him over his glasses. Cas had started wearing contacts a while ago, but every now and then he would bust out the old glasses. Now, Cas looked like an angry librarian scolding Dean for talking too loud.<br/>
“Alright then,” Dean replied with a laugh, rolling onto his back. “How’s things with your brother?”<br/>
“No to that too,” Cas said.<br/>
“Well then damn, what else are we gonna talk about?” Dean pestered.<br/>
Cas was quiet for a while. “What do you wanna be when you grow up? When you get out of Lawrence and you can be whoever you dream of being?” Cas asked, his pencil still.<br/>
Dean smiled. “That’s easy. A mechanic. Cars are cool as hell, and I already know a lot about ‘em. I wanna have a motorcycle, too. And I wanna have my own shop and everything,” he said.<br/>
“That sounds cool.”<br/>
“What about you?”<br/>
“Well, I’ll tell you, but you can’t laugh.”<br/>
Dean quirked an eyebrow. “C’mon Cas, ‘course I’m not gonna laugh. I’m only a little bit of an asshole.”<br/>
“Fair enough. I wanna illustrate comic books. Maybe even write my own.”<br/>
Dean looked at him and saw that he’d gone all red. “Cas, that’s awesome! I mean, I’ve only seen one of your drawings before, but I know you’d be great!”<br/>
Cas flipped a few pages backwards in his sketchbook and turned it around. On the paper stood a little cartoon version of Dean. “Woah…” Dean breathed. “That’s amazing!” The cartoon Dean was wearing his football uniform and holding his helmet under his arm. He was looking off to the side with a little smug smirk. Every detail Dean noticed awed him even more. The grass stains on his knees, the messy helmet hair, even the freckles across his nose.<br/>
Now Dean was blushing. “Did you have to give him the freckles?” he groaned. Cas smiled and pulled the book back towards himself. “Uh, yeah, it’s easily one of your most defining characteristics. So do you like it?”<br/>
Dean grinned, nodding. “Yeah, I do. It’s awesome. Like really incredible. I mean, I kind of look like a tool in it, but ya know.”<br/>
Cas laughed. “You are a tool.”<br/>
“Thanks.”<br/>
“Don’t mention it, anytime.”<br/>
“No, thank you, I mean it. I don’t think anyone has ever drawn me before. It’s cool.”<br/>
Cas shook his head. “You’re a fun person to draw.”<br/>
“How do you mean?”<br/>
“Well, you’re super expressive, with your face and your body language. And you’ve got those freckles and eyes and-”<br/>
Dean couldn’t help himself, sitting up. “Eyes? What’s wrong with my eyes?”<br/>
Cas rolled his own eyes. “Shut up. They’re just a really pretty shade of green.”<br/>
Dean grinned. “D’aww, you think I’m pretty?”<br/>
Cas gave him a glare. “I’ll kill you. In your own room, dammit.”<br/>
Dean laughed, shaking his head. “Sorry, sorry, just being an ass.” Cas let out a little huff. “Don’t I know it.” Dean laughed harder, shoving Cas. Cas shoved back. Dean lifted an eyebrow. “If it’s war you want, then it’s war you’ll get,” he declared, pushing him harder. Cas started to fall back off the bed, but grabbed Dean’s collar, bringing him down too. Dean used his hand to protect the back of Cas’ head from the hardwood floor.<br/>
They landed with a heavy thud, Dean on top of Cas with his legs straddling Cas’ waist. Cas’ glasses had flown off, and his bright blue eyes were wide and surprised. Once the initial shock wore off, Dean got up, sitting on his knees. “Here.” He offered Cas his hand to help him sit. As Cas took it and sat up, Dean realized that he was practically sitting in Cas’ lap. He scrambled to his feet, feeling his face heat up. With a short glance, he saw Cas’ face was red too.<br/>
“Boys, dinner!”<br/>
Dean moved to the door. “Wait, Dean-” He turned over his shoulder.<br/>
“I, uh, I can’t find my glasses.”<br/>
Dean snorted. “Alright, Velma, I’ll help you look.”<br/>
It took a few moments for the boys to find the glasses, Dean eventually spotting them under the bed. He reached under and grabbed them, handing them to Cas. The fall had bent them slightly out of shape, so they didn’t sit quite right on Cas’ nose. Dean reached out and fixed them, placing his hands on Cas’ shoulders when he was done. “There. Good as new.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry i kind of fell off this, ive been super busy lately! anyway, shits about to hit the fan, so hold onto your hats. as always, comments are appreciated so i don’t feel like i’m just throwing words into the void</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Bad Parenting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warnings!! mentions of violence, homophobia, the f slur, and i think that’s it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a Sunday. Dean knew he wouldn’t be seeing Cas because of his parents. Now that the school year was nearly over, though, he knew he’d be seeing more of him soon. The phone ringing caught him off guard. Dean paused the game.<br/>
“Oh, come on, Dean!” Sam groaned, putting the controller down. “I was about to win!”<br/>
Dean ignored him, picking up the phone. “Hello?”<br/>
“Is this Dean Winchester?” The voice on the other end sounded vaguely familiar, though Dean couldn’t put his finger on it.<br/>
“Uh, speaking.”<br/>
“This is Charles Novak, Castiel’s father.”<br/>
Ah, yes. That was the voice. Even though he was on the phone, Dean felt himself adjust his posture and he cleared his throat.<br/>
“Hello. What can I do for you, sir?”<br/>
“Castiel is at St. Josephine Memorial Hospital. His mother and Anna and I are about to go visit him and Naomi was- er, we were wondering if you’d like to come with us.”<br/>
Dean felt his heart drop. “He’s in the hospital? What for?!”<br/>
“He… there was an incident.”<br/>
“I’m coming with you. Do you need my address?”<br/>
“No, that won’t be necessary. We’ll be there to pick you up in about ten minutes.”<br/>
The line went dead and Dean stood there, holding the phone up to his ear. “Dean, what happened?” Sam was standing next to him, curious as ever.<br/>
“Uh, it’s Cas.” Dean swallowed thickly. “He’s in the hospital. I gotta call Mom, and get some things together, and-” “I’ll call Mom. You go get ready.”<br/>
Dean smiled faintly. “Thanks Sammy.” He went up to his room, grabbing a few comic books so Cas would have something for the boredom. What if Cas wasn’t even awake? What if he was sick, like really really sick?<br/>
Thoughts of the worst-case scenario ran through Dean’s head as he waited on the sidewalk with his backpack. A white minivan came down the street, stopping in front of his house. The side door slid open, and Dean saw Anna waving him towards the car.<br/>
The ride to the hospital was thirty-six long, silent minutes. The tension was so thick it felt like Dean was drowning.<br/>
Dean didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this.<br/>
Cas was covered in bruises and cuts, his nose was broken, and his left arm was in a sling. In the hospital gown and bed, he looked so pale and fragile. Dean didn’t even notice the tears welling up in his eyes until they blurred Cas into a black and blue mess.<br/>
Dean stood back and blinked the tears away as Cas’ family spoke to him, his mother and sister openly crying. “I’m so sorry,” his mother whispered over and over, pushing back his thick brown hair.<br/>
Cas’ half-open eyes landed on Dean, causing Cas to smile faintly. “Dean’s here,” he croaked out. Dean’s voice came out in a hoarse whisper. “Yeah, buddy, I’m here… What happened?” “My brother… got mad.”<br/>
Dean’s vision became brimmed with red. He squeezed his fists at his side. “Your brother? Your brother did this to you?! Where is he? I’m gonna fucking kill him!”<br/>
Cas’ father put a firm hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Now, Dean, rage does not befit the human race. Only our Lord can truly-” Dean pulled himself away, turning on him. “Oh, I’m not just mad at him. You were the one who insisted that he come live with you, despite Cas’ obvious aversion to it. Ya think maybe Cas knew he was dangerous? Knew that something like this was gonna happen? You don’t even look upset! Do you even care about him?!”<br/>
“Dean, please.” Cas’ voice stopped Dean dead in his tracks. Dean turned to look at Cas, wiping away the hot, angry tears that had started to fall.<br/>
The room was quiet, except for the beeping of the machines that Cas was hooked up to.<br/>
Cas’ dad cleared his throat. “Dean, Anna, please step outside. We would like to speak to our son. Alone.”<br/>
Dean squared his jaw but obeyed, ushering Anna out into the hallway as she wept. He watched through the window, doing his best to comfort her. Dean couldn’t hear their conversation, but he could read their body language pretty well.<br/>
His father asked a question, seeming oddly cold and detached. Dean watched Cas nod his head. His mother began to cry even harder, turning into her husband’s side for comfort. As he wrapped his arm around her, Mr. Novak gestured to her, speaking calmly. And with that, he led his wife to the door.<br/>
They stepped out into the hallway. “Anna, we’re leaving,” his father said, his face expressionless. “What?” Anna asked, wiping at her face. “I said we’re leaving.”<br/>
“What about Dean?”<br/>
“He’ll find a ride home.”<br/>
“What about Cassie?”<br/>
Mr. Novak stood silent for a moment. “Due to his own life choices, Castiel is no longer welcome in our home. And I suggest you come home with us, unless you’d like to join him.”<br/>
Anna pulled away from Dean, looking at him sadly. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouthed, moving to join her parents.<br/>
Dean stood stunned as he watched them walk down the hallway, leaving their son behind.<br/>
Dean pushed the door to the room open. “Uh, Cas? What the hell just happened?”<br/>
Cas shook his head, tears falling silently down his face.<br/>
Dean let out a soft sigh, dropping into the seat by his bed. “I, uh, brought you some comic books. Did anyone tell you how long you’ll be in here?”<br/>
Cas stayed quiet.<br/>
“Here.” Dean set the bag carefully in Cas’ reach, getting to his feet. “I’m gonna call my mom so she knows where to get me later.”<br/>
As he approached the door, Cas stopped him. “Dean.”<br/>
Dean turned over his shoulder to look at Cas. “Yeah?”<br/>
“They kicked me out of the house because I’m gay.”<br/>
“Well that’s fucked up. How did they know?”<br/>
Cas paused. “Lucifer called me a faggot when he was hitting me. They asked me if it was true. I said yes. My dad told me to never go back to the house and then they just left.” Cas broke down crying. It wasn’t like the quiet tears from minutes before, or even the angry tears from that night in December. This was a whole new level, a side of Cas Dean had never seen before. Dean walked back over to the bed. “Hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay.” He took Cas’ unslinged hand and squeezed it. “We have a guest room, and my mom will let you stay. I know she will. You’ll be okay.” With his other hand, he reached up to brush Cas’ hair back from his forehead. “You’ll be okay.”<br/>
When Cas had stopped crying, Dean let go of his hand. “I’m gonna go call my mom, tell her what’s up.” Cas nodded.<br/>
“Did you know?” he asked softly.<br/>
“Know what?”<br/>
“About me being…”<br/>
“No. But you’re still my best friend, Cas. You don’t have to hide anything.”<br/>
“Thank you.”<br/>
“‘Course.” With that, Dean went to find a phone he could call his mom on. Thankfully, he had her work number memorized.<br/>
The phone didn’t even finish the first ring. “Mary Winchester, how can I help you?”<br/>
“Hey, Mom.”<br/>
“Oh, Dean, honey, is Cas okay? Sam called and told me you went to go see him.”<br/>
“Um, no, Mom, he’s not okay. His brother beat the shit out of him and his parents kicked him out.”<br/>
“They what?”<br/>
“They told him he was no longer welcome in their home.”<br/>
She was quiet for a moment. “Alright. I’ll have Sammy set up the spare bedroom. We’ll go over there tonight and pick up all his things. That’s no problem. How’s he doing physically?”<br/>
“He looks like shit. His brother got him good.”<br/>
“That’s a damn shame. He’s such a sweet kid, how could-” her voice broke, and Dean heard her take a deep breath. “Why did they kick him out?”<br/>
“I’ll let him tell you if he wants to, but it’s kind of personal for him.”<br/>
“Of course. How long are you planning on staying there?”<br/>
“I dunno. I don’t want to leave him alone…”<br/>
“You’re a very good friend, sweetheart, but you have school tomorrow. How about I pick you up when I’m done at work, we’ll go get Cas’ things, and you can go visit him after school.”<br/>
“Okay, sounds good.”<br/>
“I love you, Dean. Tell Cas I love him too.”<br/>
“Will do. See you later.”<br/>
When Dean went back into Cas’ room, a nurse was replacing the bag on his drip.<br/>
Cas turned his head lazily to look at him. “Dean!”  he called out gleefully.<br/>
Dean smiled a little. “Hey, Cas.” He looked at the nurse with an eyebrow raised, asking a silent question. “Morphine,” she answered. “For the pain. He’ll be a little goofy for a bit, and then it’ll knock him out.”<br/>
Dean nodded. “Thanks.” He walked over to Cas and smiled. “Hey. Sammy’s setting up a room for you. My mom and I are gonna go to your house and get your stuff.”<br/>
Cas giggled. “It’ll be like a sleepover all the time!”<br/>
Dean chuckled. “Yeah, exactly.”<br/>
Cas looked up at him, his eyes swollen nearly shut. “Do I finish school?”<br/>
Dean frowned. “I, uh, I don’t know, Cas.”<br/>
“Good. I hate that school. Everyone there sucks. Except April.”<br/>
“April. You still dating April?”<br/>
“No. She dumped me after homecoming, cuz she could tell I like boys.” Cas let out another giggle. “Boys are pretty…” Cas wore a tired half-smile as he dazed off into his thoughts.<br/>
Dean sat down and talked with Cas until he fell asleep. As their conversation went on, Cas was less and less coherent. “Oh, Cas, I almost forgot. Mom said to tell you she loves you.”<br/>
“Really? Yay!” Cas threw his good arm up, like he was cheering. “I love you too…” And with that, Cas was out, his arm flopping down onto his bed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for the slow updates! i’ve only got one week of classes left so hopefully i’ll be able to write and post more then! thank you to every single person who reads this!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Summer Starts Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting Cas moved in was easy. By the time Cas got out of the hospital, Dean had set up his bedroom very similarly to his old one, but he’d hung up posters of Cas’ favorite movies, games, and bands. When Dean had picked Cas up from the hospital and brought him to his new home, Cas had broken down in tears and clung to Dean for a while. And Dean just held him through it. His fingers became used to carding through Cas’ thick hair, his shoulder used to Cas’ head. <br/>    Cas finished his school year at Cavalry, as his parents had paid for the entirety of his sophomore year. On the last day of school for both Lawrence Public Schools and Cavalry, Dean waited in the Impala to pick Cas up. Oh, the Impala. <br/>    It was technically Dean’s dad’s car, his baby at that. But he’d told Mary that Dean could drive it when he had his license, and so he did. He took care of that car just as well as his dad did. For a nearly thirty year old car, she was a dream, especially for an aspiring mechanic. <br/>Dean waited in the pickup lane, sticking out like a sore thumb among the minivans with stick figure family stickers and shiny new sports cars. When kids started coming out of the school, he scanned for that familiar face. He worried about Cas. If word got around about why he was getting picked up by some random guy in a sweet-ass car, there was sure to be trouble.<br/>There was Cas, and he was fine. Well. sort of. The doctors had set his nose back into place, his bruises were nearly gone, and his cast had a fair amount of signatures. He loosened his horrendous tie as he approached the car, opening the back door and tossing his bag and blazer into the backseat.<br/>“Hi, honey, how was work?” Dean teased as Cas climbed into the passenger seat.<br/>“I hate you.”<br/>“No you don’t.”<br/>“A man can dream,” Cas replied, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up his elbows. “It’s hot as shit out.”<br/>“That’s cuz it’s summer,” Dean said. He turned on the radio, the cassette player picking up where he’d left off on the Back in Black album. As they pulled out of the parking lot, Dean turned up the music and rolled down the windows. Cas let out a laugh and raised his good arm to flip the building off. The boys looked at each other and grinned.<br/>Dean took the back way to Lawrence Middle. The longer country roads let Dean drive as fast as he wanted, and boy could the Impala fly. Regardless of taking the long way, they arrived at the school before Sam was done with his band banquet.<br/>Dean parked in the parent pickup lane and turned the music down a bit. “So, how’s it feel knowing you’ll never have to go back to that damn school?” Dean asked. <br/>Cas let out a sigh. “Oh my God, you can’t imagine, Dean. I didn’t believe in Heaven until I knew how it felt to walk out of that place for the last time.”<br/>Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the dreamy expression on Cas’ face. Cas chuckled along with him, shaking his head. “Fuck that place. Wanna help me burn my uniform?”<br/>“Oh absolutely. Starting with that terrible tie.”<br/>“The tie isn’t so bad, it makes my eyes sparkle,” Cas joked, all but ripping it off his neck.<br/>Dean laughed again. “Unbutton the top few buttons, dude, you look like a Mormon or something.”<br/>Cas rolled his eyes but complied, and Dean nodded his approval. “See? Looks so much better.”<br/>Dean didn’t have time to notice Cas’ blush as the band students started to leave the school. He spotted Sam near the back, walking next to a sweet looking blonde girl. Some of the students were holding certificates, and they were all hugging and laughing and saying goodbye. Sam hugged the girl a little longer than a standard hug, and Dean gasped. <br/>“Cas, Cas, look! Sammy’s got a girlfriend!”<br/>Cas snorted. “Where?”<br/>“In the back, by the tree. Aw, she’s taller than him!”<br/>“Dean, windows. Don’t be a dick.”<br/>“Right, right, sorry.” Dean rolled up the windows to continue his dickery in privacy.<br/>Sam walked up to the car and tossed his backpack in, waving goodbye to the blonde girl. He got in and buckled, looking up to find the two older boys staring at him. “What?”<br/>“Who’s your girlfriend?” Dean asked.<br/>“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sam answered with a groan.<br/>“What’s her name?” <br/>“Jessica.”<br/>“Oooo, Jessica.”<br/>“Shut up Dean.”<br/>Cas interjected. “What’s your paper say?”<br/>“Most likely to become president.”<br/>“I could see it,” Cas responded.<br/>“What did Jessica get?” Dean asked.<br/>“Dean, you’re about to get smacked if you don’t shut up and drive,”  Sam spat, narrowing his eyes. Dean laughed and pulled out of the parking lot, taking them all home.<br/>As they approached the house, Dean remembered something. “Oh, Cas, uh, every year on the last day of school, our mom gets us a gift. It’s always small but thoughtful. Knowing her, she got you one too.”<br/>“Why would she get me one?” Cas asked. <br/>“You’re one of her boys,” Sam answered, “of course she got you one.”<br/>Cas didn’t say anything, but Dean could read his face all too well. Cas wasn’t used to loving parents.<br/>When they walked in, Mary was still at work, but there were three little presents, wrapped up on the table. She’d written their names in Sharpie. Sammy got a book of blank sheet music, and Dean got Mortal Kombat 3. Cas had been given a set of colored pencils, but they weren’t a brand that Dean recognized. They looked expensive. Looking at Cas’ face, Dean could tell that he was fighting back tears. “Cas, wanna give this game a test run?”<br/>Cas looked up at Dean and gave him a soft smile. “Sure, but first we gotta burn the tie and blazer.”<br/>“What about the shirt? And the khakis?” <br/>Cas shrugged. “Nothin’ wrong with having a nice shirt laying around. And have you seen my ass in these? I’m keeping ‘em.”<br/>Dean had, in fact, seen Cas’ ass in those. And he thought that keeping them was an absolutely fine plan.<br/>“Can I help with the burning? That’s the grossest jacket I’ve ever seen,” Sammy said.<br/>Cas laughed. “Of course you can. C’mon.”<br/>The blazer took forever to catch on fire. The tie, however, burned up quickly. Once they got the fire to take to the blazer, though, they couldn’t have stopped it if they wanted to. Thankfully, they didn’t. Cas was laughing and smiling, bantering back and forth with Sam. Dean just watched them. Cas fit into their family so well, it was like he was meant to be there.<br/>Cas caught his eye and smiled at him. Dean didn’t think he’d ever seen Cas smile so much in the nearly year he’d known him as he had in the past week.<br/>Cas still smelled like a campfire a few hours later as they played Mortal Kombat. At first, Cas was easily the worst at this game that Dean had ever seen. But as they played, Cas learned where the buttons were and what they did. Soon, he was winning every match.<br/>“Hey, Dean?” Cas asked, his thumbs flying over the controller.<br/>“What’s up?”<br/>“When you went to homecoming with Lisa, did you guys ever…?” Cas trailed off.<br/>“No. I tried to kiss her but she wouldn’t let me.”<br/>“Really? She seemed to like you.”<br/>“Yeah, and I liked her too. I think she thought I was in love with Charlie or something,” Dean said with a chuckle. “Charlie’s even gayer than you, though.” Cas had met Charlie a time or two, and they seemed to get along really well.<br/>“Oh, I know,” Cas replied. “She told me like the day I met her. She’s the first person I told, actually.”<br/>“Really? Why Charlie?” Dean asked, sticking his tongue out to concentrate on executing his combo.<br/>“Because she’s gay too, Dean. I knew she wouldn’t judge me.”<br/>“Fair enough. Why’d you bring up Lisa?”<br/>Cas blushed and paused for a moment, giving Dean the chance to win the round before noticing. “Hell yes!” Dean cheered, tossing the controller. He looked over to see Cas sitting there, lost in that brain of his again.<br/>“Hey, you okay?”<br/>Cas looked up. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m okay,” he mumbled absently.<br/>Dean leveled him with a look. “Cas. I know you better than I know myself.”<br/>Cas let out a slow breath, looking nervous. He bit at his lower lip and started to fidget with the controller in his hands. He stared at his lap, the floor, the wall, looking anywhere but at Dean. “Do you think you could ever-”<br/>“Boys! Dinner!”<br/>Cas shot to his feet and went to the door. Dean followed him, taking a hold of his arm. He wasn’t holding him tightly or anything, just a soft touch. Cas turned to look, his eyes landing on Dean’s hand and then dragging up to meet his eyes, almost painfully slowly. Dean felt his eyebrows scrunch up on his forehead, concern taking over.<br/>Cas pressed his lips together, and Dean couldn’t help but watch. He suddenly thought back to the kiss they’d shared at the end of last summer. When Cas’ lips parted again, Dean had an overwhelming urge to lean in and taste them again. He looked back to Cas’ eyes, those bright blue eyes, staring back up at him with a feeling he couldn’t place. Dean knew Cas well, but not this well. This was new. Cas stayed frozen as Dean’s other hand, with a mind of its own, reached up to cup Cas’ jaw. He watched his thumb trace a soft line along Cas’ cheekbone. He barely even registered Cas tilting his head to rest it in Dean’s palm.<br/>Cas suddenly went stiff, taking a step back. “We should, uh, go get dinner,” he mumbled, refusing to look at Dean. Dean looked at his hands, still suspended in the air, holding a phantom of Cas. “Uh, yeah. Good idea.”<br/>Dinner was awkward. Cas acted normal around Sam and Mary, talking about his new pencils, his plans for the summer, Sammy’s band award, and all the other hot talking points. Dean was too busy thinking about what the hell had just happened. He ate, spoke when spoken to, and tried not to stare at Cas. Their eyes didn’t meet throughout the meal, but he could feel Cas’ gaze when he looked anywhere else.<br/>Cleanup was tense too. Dean was on leftovers, and Cas was on dishes. Once they were alone in the kitchen, Dean spoke softly. “Cas?”<br/>No response.<br/>“Are… Are you mad at me?”<br/>“No.” The shortness of his response felt like a knife to Dean’s heart.<br/>“Then why aren’t you talking to me?”<br/>“I can’t,” Cas whispered, scrubbing a plate.<br/>“What do you mean, you can’t?”<br/>“I mean, I can’t, okay?” Cas rinsed the plate off, put it in the drying rack, and left the kitchen. Dean rushed to put the rest of the food away. <br/>He knocked on Cas’ door. “Can I come in?”<br/>“Sure.”<br/>Dean opened the door. Cas was sitting at his desk, his colored pencils out. Dean eased the door shut, leaning back on it. “Cas, look, whatever I did, I’m-”<br/>“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” Cas turned around in his seat, letting out a tired sigh. “You didn’t do anything, Dean. There’s nothing to apologize for.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.<br/>“Then what is it? You know you can-”<br/>Cas put his hand up. “I know, Dean. I know I can tell you anything. Except I can’t. Because some things you can’t come back from, and I can’t lose this.”<br/>“Lose what?”<br/>“I’ve never had a friend in my life that treats me like you do. You.. you care about me. Your whole family cares about me. I mean, I live here now. I just can’t risk it.”<br/>“Cas, please, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”<br/>“I know. And it’s better off that way. Trust me. Close the door on your way out.” <br/>Dean turned to go, feeling defeated. But he paused, remembering the way Cas had looked at him earlier. That look that he’d never seen, at least not on Cas. But he’d seen it before. In girls that he wooed and the characters in their movies. It all made sense. All at once, the pieces connected in Dean’s head.<br/>The look.<br/>Asking about Lisa.<br/>The tense staring whenever they were close.<br/>His drugged up confession.<br/>“You… you love me.”<br/>Cas was silent. Dean turned to see him frozen, looking at him with fear in his eyes.<br/>“You love me,” he repeated, stepping closer. He could see that Cas was afraid, which only affirmed his point. “But it’s okay, Cas. It’s okay.”<br/>Cas looked down, his voice shaky. “No, Dean, it’s not okay. I don’t think you realize how good you are to me, and how much it hurts knowing I can’t have you.”<br/>Dean swallowed thickly, making his way to the desk. Cas looked so small, sitting there. He looked like he was trying to shrink so small he’d disappear. Dean placed a curled finger under Cas’ chin, tilting his head up so their eyes would meet. Cas looked absolutely broken. “Dean, please, you-”<br/>Dean cut him off with a soft kiss. He felt Cas freeze up, so he pulled away only far enough to speak. “Who said you can’t have me?” he whispered. When Dean opened his eyes, he saw a tear running down Cas’ face. “I never… pictured myself with a guy. But when I kissed you last summer, it felt… it didn’t feel like practice. It felt real. It felt right. And maybe it is a bad idea, because if it goes south everything would get so messy, so fast.” Dean took Cas’ face in his hands and smiled softly. “But, Cas, I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m with you. It just feels… I dunno, it feels right. Believe me when I tell you this is something I want. Took me a while to realize, but I do want this. I want you.”<br/>Cas was smiling too, a soft, honey-sweet smile. “Dean, do you really mean all that?”<br/>“‘Course I do. Don’t you feel it too?”<br/>Cas didn’t answer Dean’s question. He just closed the space between their lips. Dean felt a weight lift off his shoulders that he hadn’t even known he was carrying. He looped his arms around Cas’ waist and kissed him, really kissed him. And it was right.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey guys sorry for not posting for a while, things have been crazy as my school year wrapped up! decided to post this as my school year and theirs are ending at the same time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Falling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loving Cas was easy once Dean let himself fall. It was like every moment of his life led up to this, and he couldn’t believe his luck. A few days after their first real kiss, Dean took Cas out to lunch. The diner was packed, but they were able to get the same booth as last time. Cas was talking, and Dean wasn’t listening. He was too busy looking. The way Cas lit up when something got him excited just melted Dean right to the core. Dean had a dreamy smile and part of his straw on his lips, his chin in his hand, and his eyes unwaveringly focused on Cas.<br/>    He jumped when a french fry hit him on the forehead.<br/>    “Are you even listening?” Cas asked, looking only mildly irritated.<br/>    “Uh, no, no I am not,” Dean answered, straightforward. “I couldn’t think about anything other than how pretty you are.”<br/>    Cas rolled his eyes and fought back a smile. “Oh, shut up.”<br/>    Dean grinned and dipped the launched fry in his strawberry shake, popping it into his mouth.<br/>    “Cas, Dean, what’s up?<br/>    Dean looked over to see Lisa, wearing a black apron around her waist.<br/>    “Hey, Lise,” Dean said with a smile. “Since when do you work here?”<br/>    “Just for the summer, then I’m going to school in California. What are you guys up to?” Lisa had that same unreadable look from the last time they were in the diner, and she was watching the two of them like a hawk.<br/>    Dean shrugged. “Fries and milkshakes, can’t go wrong.”<br/>    Lisa narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. Dean couldn’t help wondering what she was thinking. She looked over to Cas. “How’s April doing?”<br/>    “Oh, she’s fine, we decided to stay friends,” Cas answered, swiping a few fries through ketchup.<br/>    “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” she chewed at her lip. Lisa looked like she had a burning question that would explode inside of her if she didn’t ask it, but for some reason she kept it inside. <br/>    “Is there something you need, Lisa?” Cas’ tone was a little sharp, and when Dean looked at him he understood. Jealousy was painted all over Cas’ face. Dean wanted to take his hand and promise him that there was no reason to feel jealous, but he knew he couldn’t. Not in public.<br/>    “No, no, sorry to bother you guys…” Lisa went red and went back behind the counter. Dean felt her looking back at them every so often.<br/>    When they left, Dean nudged Cas’ side and led him around the side of the building. There was a wide alley between the diner and the church next door. But there was a fence covering them from the back, and a little nook in the back corner. That corner was a perfect makeout spot that Dean admittedly knew well.<br/>    “Where are we going?” Cas asked. Dean looked over his shoulder at him and winked.<br/>    Once they were hidden, Dean took his hand. “C’mere.”<br/>    Cas stepped closer to Dean, looking around. “Hey, we’re in public…”<br/>    Dean pressed a soft kiss to his neck and smiled at the noise that spilled from Cas’ lips. “Yeah, but no one can see us.”<br/>    “You’re such a bad influence,” Cas whined, melting between Dean and the brick wall of the diner.<br/>    Dean laughed, peppering kisses across Cas’ neck and jaw. “I saw your face when you were talking to Lisa. You don’t have to get jealous, baby, you know I’m all yours.” Cas didn’t respond, Dean taking that as a prompt to continue going. “Y’know, I like seeing you all protective though, I will admit. It’s kinda hot.” Cas let out a whimper and Dean grinned.<br/>    “Not as hot as this, though,” he continued, his voice low and breathy. “Something thrilling about knowing we might get-”<br/>    The back door to the diner slammed shut, causing Dean to take a stiff step back. Lisa stood there, a black garbage bag in her hand, staring at them in shock. Dean looked at Cas, who was still pressed against the wall, pale and scared. He cleared his throat. “Uh, hey Lise…”<br/>    She let out a squeal of excitement, surprisingly enough. “Oh, I knew it! Since when?”<br/>    It was Dean’s turn to be stunned. “Uh, a few days…”<br/>    Lisa released another squeal. “Aww! I could tell from the night of the game, you two were sooo sweet on each other. This is so cute!”<br/>    “Lisa you can’t tell anyone. Please,” Dean begged.<br/>    Lisa made a face at him. “Of course I won’t tell anyone. That’s not my business.” She smiled, looking between them. “I’m really glad you guys figured it out. Honestly. Have a good summer, okay? And, please, wear a condom.” She tossed the bag into the dumpster across the alley and went back into the diner.<br/>    Dean made his way back over to Cas. “Hey, you okay?”<br/>    Cas nodded slowly, his eyes still wide and bewildered. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. She took that pretty well…”<br/>    Dean chuckled. “Yeah, she did. Ready to go home?”<br/>    Cas nodded again. Dean smiled softly and gave him a quick kiss, leading him back out to the Impala.<br/>    When the boys arrived back at the house, there was no one else home. They went up to Dean’s room and played Mortal Kombat 3, Cas sitting in Dean’s lap. Dean had to wrap his arms around Cas’ waist to use his controller, but neither of them seemed to mind. Dean rested his chin on Cas’ shoulder. They didn’t hear the front door open or Sam’s footsteps up the stairs. They did, however, hear the loud gasp when Sam saw them, cuddled up with the door wide open. “Oh my god I fucking called it! Yes! Mom owes me twenty bucks!”<br/>    Once the initial surprise passed, Dean looked at Cas. “Did my family place bets on us?” Cas didn’t answer, too busy cracking up. Dean couldn’t help but stare. The way his nose was crinkled up, his bright smile, just the sound of his laugh. It was enough to melt his heart. He tightened his arms around Cas’ waist and peppered his face with kisses. This, in turn, caused Cas to laugh even harder.<br/>    Once Cas calmed down, Dean spoke softly. “You have the cutest laugh, you know that? Oh shit, wait a second.”<br/>    Dean got up and called out into the hallway. “Sammy! Don’t tell Mom yet, okay? You’ll get your money and everything, but just don’t tell her.”<br/>    Sam popped his head out of his door and frowned. “Why not?”<br/>    “Because I said so. Seriously, dude, even if you guys ‘called it’ or whatever, both me and Cas need to be ready to tell her, and in our own time. Don’t be a dick.”<br/>    Sam let out a sigh. “Fine, but only because Cas is cool.”<br/>    “And I’m not?”<br/>    “No, you suck.”<br/>    “No, you suck.”<br/>    “Sorry, I can’t hear you over how much you suck.”<br/>    Dean rolled his eyes and closed the door. He turned to see Cas looking at the floor with a fond but sad expression. Dean frowned as he walked over, dropping to a knee in front of him. “Hey, baby, you okay?”<br/>    Cas’ response was barely louder than a whisper. “I miss Anna. It’s her birthday, and I don’t get to see her.”<br/>    Dean used a finger under Cas’ chin to tilt his face toward him. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay baby. Just because you don’t live with her doesn’t mean you can’t see her.” Cas shook his head. “They won’t allow me there, or her to come here.” “Cas, Anna strikes me as a rule breaker. And you should’ve seen how upset she was when your parents made her leave. I imagine she’ll find her way over here sooner or later.”<br/>    Cas sniffled and rubbed at his eyes. “You think so?”<br/>    Dean kissed his forehead. “I know so. She loves you.”<br/>    At that, Cas started to cry. Dean held him close, running his hand up and down Cas’ back. The feeling of Cas’ fingers clinging to the back of his shirt caused Dean to tear up too. As much as they bickered, he couldn’t imagine losing Sam like that. And so suddenly? That would be hell.<br/>    “The world isn’t good enough to you, Cas,” he whispered. “You deserve better.”<br/>    “I’m not so sure about that,” came Cas’ reply, muffled by Dean’s chest.<br/>    Dean pulled away just far enough to look at Cas. “What do you mean, baby?”<br/>    Cas shrugged. “I’m just… me. I’m not anything special or different.”<br/>    Dean just stared at him for a moment. “You kiddin’ me? Cas, you’re… you’re amazing. You’re so sweet and kind-hearted, and everyone who knows you loves you. You’ve been through so much and come out the other side just as perfect. Yeah, that’s the word. You’re perfect.”<br/>    Cas shook his head. “I’m not perfect.” He put a finger up to stop Dean’s protest. “But I don’t want to be. That’s what my dad wanted, four perfect little children. Except Lucifer’s a dick and I’m gay, who knows where Gabriel is, and Anna resents him.” He offered Dean a small smile. “I don’t want to be perfect, I just want to be loved.”<br/>    “You are loved. My mom adores the hell out of you, Sammy looks up to you, and me?” Dean pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I can’t imagine life without you.”<br/>Cas’ eyes were still glassy when he looked up at Dean. But Dean could tell that, at least for now, Cas was happy. And that was all he needed. <br/>That night, Dean didn’t tell Cas where he was going. He simply took his keys and left, driving straight down the street. He parked his car far enough away to be inconspicuous and took to the trees again. He couldn’t reach the window he wanted, so he found an acorn and tossed it delicately against the window. When Anna peeked her face through her pink curtains, it took her a second to find Dean. But when their eyes met, she grinned.<br/>Dean helped her sneak out of Cas’ old window and went down the tree first to catch her if she fell. He wasn’t too surprised when she made her way down much more quickly and gracefully than he ever did. <br/>When they got to the Winchester house, Dean knocked on Cas’ door. Cas had already been in bed, but Dean could tell from the glasses, lamp, and book face down on the bed that he hadn’t slept. Anna was hidden behind Dean, who couldn’t hide his grin as Cas rubbed at his eyes and yawned. “What are you smiling for?” Cas asked, looking at Dean with bleary eyes. <br/>Anna popped out from behind Dean, her grin even bigger than Dean’s. “Surprise!”<br/>Cas gasped and stood there for a moment. It didn’t last long, though, Anna rushing into a hug and Cas holding her tight. Dean watched with a warm smile as Cas peppered kisses all over the top of her head and she giggled. “Happy birthday, Banana,” Cas said. “Oh, wait right there, I got you something.” He walked into his room and opened a drawer, pulling out a little blue teddy bear. Anna gasped. “A beanie baby?” She took it from him carefully and hugged it to her chest. “Thanks Cassie. I love it.” She pulled Cas into another hug. <br/>Dean chewed at his lip. He hated to interrupt the moment, but he knew he had to. “Alright, Anna Banana, don’t want you getting into any trouble. Let’s get you home.”<br/>Anna looked over to Dean. “Don’t be a doofus. I am home.” Cas let out a little laugh and squeezed her hand. “He’s right, though. Chuck and Naomi would flip their shit if they caught you,” he said. Anna snorted. “Chuck? I love it.”<br/>The three of them drove back to the Novak house, watching Anna shimmy up the tree and slip into the empty bedroom. Cas looked at Dean with a smile. “Thank you,” he said softly. <br/>The ride home was quiet, Cas’ head on Dean’s shoulder. When they parked, Cas started to get out of the car. “Hey,” Dean whispered. Cas turned around to look at him. “Don’t I get a kiss goodnight?” Dean asked with a pout. “You’re incorrigible,” Cas replied, rolling his eyes. Dean didn’t know what that meant, exactly, but he figured Cas didn’t mean it as he leaned in and kissed him softly. Dean played absently with the hair at the nape of Cas’ neck, toying with the cute little curls that formed there. It was a soft, sweet, and slow kiss, the kind that made Dean feel like this was where he was meant to be. And in that moment, with his car and his angel, Dean was sure that it was.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A Working Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Less than a week into the summer, Dean knew he had to get a job. If he was going to be taking Cas on dates, he’d need money. Thankfully, he didn’t have to look far. <br/>    He walked into Singer Automotive with a confident smile to hide the nervousness. This job could be the first step in a life-long career he’d always dreamed of. There was a guy bent over in the hood of a car, so Dean walked up. “Excuse me?” They guy jumped, smacking the back of his head against the hood. “Shit!”<br/>    Dean’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god I am so sorry I didn’t mean to-” “You’re all good, kid. Happens all the time. What’s up?” The older guy was rubbing the back of his head. Dean caught a glimpse of the nametag on his jumpsuit. “Is Bobby here?” Dean asked.<br/>    “In the office,” the guy - Benny, according to the nametag- said, jerking a thumb towards a grey door nearly hidden in the wall. Dean nodded his thanks and headed towards the door, knocking. “Come in,” came a gruff, familiar voice.<br/>    Bobby Singer and John Winchester were practically brothers. Dean didn’t know Bobby super well, and hadn’t seen him since his dad’s deployment, but he still viewed him as family. Like an uncle or something. <br/>    The door gave a sad squeak as Dean pulled it open. “Hello, Mr. Singer, I-” “Dean, you call me Mr. Singer, you may as well call me old man. How’ve you been, son?” Dean couldn’t help but smile a little. “Sorry, Bobby. I’ve been good. You?” Bobby let out a little scoff-chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, fine as ever. How can I help ya?” <br/>“Well, sir, I’d like a job.” <br/>“Need me to be a reference?”<br/>“No, I was actually hoping I could work here.”<br/>Bobby’s face seemed to light up. “You serious? I was just about to put up a help wanted sign! One of my boys just moved off to start up his own shop and took a couple boys with him, so it’s been just me and Benny. He’s good, but he can’t do it all.”<br/>Dean smiled, feeling a little relieved. “Yes, sir, I’m very serious. I’d like to work here, and not just as a summer job. I also hope to open up my own shop, though I promise I won’t steal any of your boys.”<br/>Bobby stuck out a hand, Dean shaking it. “Welcome to the team, Winchester.”<br/>Dean drove home feeling like he was on top of the world, windows down and music blaring. He parked the car in the driveway and went inside, pausing in the front door. In the kitchen, he could see his mom and Cas hovering over the stove. <br/>“Good,” he heard her say. “Now pour in the milk and stir.”<br/>Cas followed her instructions, focused entirely on the pan in front of him. Mary looked over as Dean closed the door. “Hey, sweetie, you’re just in time for lunch!” Dean kicked off his shoes and walked into the kitchen. “Smells good,” he said, “what is it?” Mary smiled. “I’m teaching Cas how to make mac and cheese. He’s a very quick learner.”<br/>Dean glanced into the pan on the stovetop, seeing the beautifully orange cheese that only comes from boxed macaroni. “Looks awesome, Cas,” he said with a grin. <br/>“How was the auto shop?” Cas asked, not looking up from his intense stirring. <br/>Dean smiled even wider. “I got the job.”<br/>Mary let out an excited squeal. “Oh, yay! My baby got a job!” She paused for a moment. “Oh my god… am I old?”<br/>The rest of the day was quick and fun, like any summer day should be. Dean felt an odd sort of sentimentality, for when he was a kid and summers felt like forever. He had a feeling the summers would only get shorter as he got older, and that made him sad.<br/>That night, Dean couldn’t sleep. He wrestled with thoughts of getting older and wiser and sadder. That wasn’t what he wanted. But it was almost too late. Now that he had a job, summer could never be biking around and swimming and hanging out in abandoned cottages. He was starting to become an adult, and that thought didn’t sit well with him at all. <br/>His thoughts were interrupted by a timid knocking on the door.<br/>Cas cracked open the door, looking pale. Dean sat up, squinting against the yellow light of the hallway. “Did I wake you up?” Cas whispered, shuffling into Dean’s room.<br/>Dean shook his head. “Nah,” he mumbled, turning to check the clock on his nightstand. 1:52 AM. “What are you doing up, baby?” Now that the door was closed, he could see a little better, and Cas looked terrified. <br/>Immediately Dean sat up straighter. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”<br/>Cas tried to hide his face behind the glasses and mess of hair.. “I, um… I’ve been having nightmares lately. About my family.”<br/>Dean opened up his arms and Cas practically fled into them, tucking his face into that oh-so-familiar place. Just where the neck and shoulder met. Dean stroked his hair, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head. “You don’t have to worry about them anymore, you know?”<br/>Dean felt Cas squeeze him tighter. “I know… but I still…” Cas wasn’t sobbing, but his breathing was rapid and inconsistent. Cas’ hands gripped the back of Dean’s shirt tightly. Dean opened his arms up and put his hands on Cas’ shoulders. “Hey, hey, look at me. C’mere, look at me,” Dean whispered.<br/>Those broken-glass eyes that met his nearly shattered his heart. “Hey, it’s okay.” Dean’s knuckles traced a gentle line down Cas’ cheek. “I’m here. I’m right here and I will stay right here. I can’t even imagine what you must have been through but baby I’m here.” Dean cupped Cas’ face in his hands and kissed his forehead. “I’m right here.”<br/>When Cas’ hand wrapped around Dean’s own, he knew he’d helped. Dean wasn’t an expert in helping others or emotional intimacy or anything like that, but sometimes he felt like an expert on Cas, and that was enough. Sometimes, Dean was able to be whatever Cas needed him to be, and he was even able to say the right things.<br/>“How do you do that?” Cas asked with a soft chuckle, curling up against Dean’s side.<br/>“Do what?” Dean muttered, wrapping an arm around him and resting his cheek on the top of his head.<br/>“Fix it.”<br/>“I dunno.”<br/>“Well you’re good at it,” Cas decided, closing his eyes with a sigh. “Can I stay here tonight?”<br/>Dean lifted an eyebrow. “Long as you don’t get up to any funny business, sure.”<br/>“Funny business?”<br/>“Yeah.”<br/>“Are you crazy? Of course I’ll get up to funny business.”<br/>“Well then get the sleeping bag out, just to be safe,” Dean teased, pecking his lips. <br/>Cas went to the closet to grab the sleeping bag, getting on his tiptoes to get it down from the top shelf. He paused for a moment. “Dean, would it be weird if I slept in one of your t-shirts?”<br/>Dean’s mouth went dry and his heart skipped a beat. “N-no not at all, something wrong with your pajamas?” Cas shrugged. “They don’t smell like you,” he replied simply.<br/>Dean got up and met Cas at the closet door, finding a navy blue t-shirt and trading Cas the sleeping bag for it. He tried to hide the fact that his cheeks felt hot, but Cas’ smile told him he wasn’t successful. “Why are you blushing?” Cas pried, a smirk growing ever wider across his lips.<br/>Dean cleared his throat. “I’m not,” he replied shortly, laying out the sleeping bag. He ignored the rustling behind him, focused on making the sleeping bag align perfectly with the bed. When he finally turned around, his heart fell into his stomach.<br/>Cas was wearing the t-shirt - and only the t-shirt. His flannel pajamas were abandoned on the floor next to him, his glasses set carefully next to the alarm clock. Just as Dean had hoped, the navy blue shirt made his eyes look even brighter, and the waxy moonlight was only helping. Cas was obviously a little out of his comfort zone, and Dean realized wearing this little was probably a first for Cas. The pink tinge in his cheeks and shaky eye contact told Dean that Cas was a little nervous, but ready for… well, Dean would have to see. <br/>He crossed the short space between them and paused only a few inches away from him. Dean’s hands found their way onto Cas’ hips, pulling them towards his own. Cas looked up at him for only a moment before they were kissing.<br/>They made their way to the bed, Cas laying down beneath Dean. Every movement was slow and smooth. Dean took a moment to just look, taking it all in. Cas, laying on his bed, cheeks flushed and hair even messier than usual. Dean’s heart melted.<br/>He leaned down, sprinkling Cas’ face with kisses as he made his way to his ear. <br/>“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, letting his lips trail down Cas’ neck. Cas let out a soft moan, tilting his head. Dean couldn’t help but give his warm skin a little bite, smiling at the way Cas moved and whined from it.<br/>It was nearly 2:30 when they both settled down for the night, lips swollen and hearts full. Dean was on his back with Cas’ head on his chest and arm draped across his waist. Dean was getting sleepy, but Cas didn’t seem to be. He was lazily drawing shapes over Dean’s now-bare chest with one finger, humming a soft tune.<br/>Dean smiled at him. “You know you’re like… seriously adorable, right?”<br/>Cas blushed but smiled back. “Yeah?”<br/>“Yeah. I love you.”<br/>Cas tensed up for just a moment, searching Dean’s eyes. Whatever he found there must have been satisfactory, because he let out a relieved sigh. <br/>“I love you too.”<br/>Dean kissed his nose before letting out a yawn. “Alright, angel, get some rest, okay?”<br/>Cas closed his eyes and nestled into Dean’s chest. Dean fell asleep pretty quickly, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so relaxed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>... it’s been a minute, huh? I’m working full time but this is my last week of summer classes so hopefully that should free me up to write and post more? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the streaming sunlight that woke Dean up that morning. But the soft mess of hair just beneath his nose and the curled up hand on his chest were a sight to behold. Cas had tucked his face between Dean’s chin and chest and was out like a light. <br/>Dean couldn’t say for sure how much time passed between when he woke and when Cas did. When Cas’ eyelids fluttered open, Dean was simply staring and admiring him. <br/>“What are you looking at?” Cas mumbled in a gravelly, sleepy drawl. <br/>“You,” Dean replied simply, the word floating from his lips like a sigh. He pressed a soft kiss to Cas’ head and closed his eyes, breathing in the moment. He felt a smile stretch across his face and pulled back to admire Cas some more. <br/>“How’d you sleep?” Dean asked, running his fingers through Cas’ thick brown hair. Cas leaned into the touch and smiled.<br/>“Good. You?”<br/>“Good.”<br/>“Good.”<br/>They laid together for a while, foreheads pressed together and eyes locked, speaking through smiles and soft kisses. Dean took in a deep breath and sat up. He stretched his arms over his head and cracked his neck. “You smell bacon?” he asked. <br/>Cas sniffed the air. “Yeah, I do. You hungry?”<br/>“Always,” Dean answered, watching as Cas sat up next to him. “Wanna grab some breakfast?”<br/>Cas nodded and stretched, his toes curling up and cracking. “Yeah, sounds good.”<br/>Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ waist, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “You know what else sounds good?”<br/>“Hm?”<br/>“Waking up next to you every morning.”<br/>Dean felt Cas smile and that made him smile. “I’m serious, Cas. I love you.”<br/>“I love you too.”<br/>Dean looked at him and let out a happy little sigh. “That makes me happy to hear, angel.”<br/>Breakfast was good, and just about everything felt perfect. Well, almost. <br/>With one bite of pancakes left, Dean decided to come out to his mother. He set down his fork on his plate. It clattered a little louder than he had planned and completely hushed the conversation. Everyone was looking at him. <br/>“Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh, well I do have something to say, actually…” Dean cleared his throat and tried to take a few deep breaths. Cas’ hand brushed against his thigh. Dean didn’t know if Cas knew what he was about to say, but he knew Cas was supporting him. The thought relaxed him. <br/>“Hey Mom, I, um…. I’m gay.”<br/>Mary smiled. “Yeah?”<br/>Dean nodded, pleased that she seemed to take it well but still nervous. <br/>“Cool,” Mary said, her smile growing wider. “Thank you for telling me.”<br/>Dean didn’t notice that he started crying until Mary said “oh my sweet baby, come here.” Hugging his mother tightly, he cried a good solid cry. And Mary held him through it, running her hand along his back. <br/>“I love you, Dean, no matter what.”<br/>The last bite of his pancakes tasted sweeter than the rest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>... Hey sorry it’s been almost a year. I’m a mess of a person but I felt reinspired to work on this. Just a short bit of fluff to get back into the story!</p>
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